Jokes: Some home remedies

> AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
>
> 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
> GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE
> VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
>
> 2... AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE
> TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
>
> 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF
> AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS
> REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE
> A TIMER.
>
> 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL
> PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER
> YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
>
> 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
> THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
>
> 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE..
> IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT
> SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
>
> 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN
> ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
>
> DAILY THOUGHT:
>
> SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR
> ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED
> DOWN THE
> STAIRS